In Islam, parents hold an exceptionally high status. Their rights and the respect owed to them are emphasized in numerous verses of the Qur’an and Hadith. They are the ones who have devoted their time and energy to nurturing a child from birth to adulthood. They work diligently, sacrifice time with their families, and set aside their own interests for the benefit of their children. Parents are a heavenly treasure, angels in human form who extend their wings of mercy over their children. Allah Almighty firmly commands believers to respect and honor their parents.
Parents in the Quran and Hadith
In various verses of the Quran, God instructs believers to treat their parents with kindness and to avoid showing them any disrespect. Here are some rights of parents in light of Quran and Hadith:
Respect of parents in Islam
Allah Almighty commands respect for parents because they cared for, raised, and educated us. There are many verses about parents in quran which shows parents rights in islam. In Surah Al-Isra , Allah says:
وَ قَضٰى رَبُّكَ اَلَّا تَعْبُدُوْۤا اِلَّاۤ اِیَّاهُ وَ بِالْوَالِدَیْنِ اِحْسَانًاؕ-اِمَّا یَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ اَحَدُهُمَاۤ اَوْ كِلٰهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَّهُمَاۤ اُفٍّ وَّ لَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَ قُلْ لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِیْمًا(23)
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them reach old age in your care, say not to them [so much as], ‘uff,’ nor berate them, but speak to them a noble word.”
وَ اخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَ قُلْ رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّیٰنِیْ صَغِیْرًاﭤ(24)
“And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy, and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'”
Avoid Saying ‘Uff’
God has instructed us in the Quran not to make even the smallest disrespectful remark toward our parents. We should not even utter the word “uff” (افّ) to our parents. “Uff” has been translated as “fie” by some English translators of the Quran. It is an interjection, not a term expressing personal disdain toward one’s parents. Therefore, we must ensure that we avoid making any disrespectful interjections when speaking to our parents.
A Universal Command
Respecting parents is a common rule in every culture and religion. Similar to Islam Allah commanded the Children of Israel to honor and treat their parents with kindness.
وَ اِذْ اَخَذْنَا مِیْثَاقَ بَنِیْۤ اِسْرَآءِیْلَ لَا تَعْبُدُوْنَ اِلَّا اللّٰهَ- وَ بِالْوَالِدَیْنِ اِحْسَانًا وَّ ذِی الْقُرْبٰى وَ الْیَتٰمٰى وَ الْمَسٰكِیْنِ وَ قُوْلُوْا لِلنَّاسِ حُسْنًا وَّ اَقِیْمُوا الصَّلٰوةَ وَ اٰتُوا الزَّكٰوةَؕ-ثُمَّ تَوَلَّیْتُمْ اِلَّا قَلِیْلًا مِّنْكُمْ وَ اَنْتُمْ مُّعْرِضُوْنَ(83)
“And [recall] when We took the covenant from the Children of Israel, [saying], ‘Do not worship except Allah, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, and the needy. Speak to people good words, establish prayer, and give zakah.’ Then you turned away, except a few of you, and you were refusing.” (Surah Baqarah:83)
The Primacy of the Mother’s Respect
The Quran highlights the importance of mothers in a child’s life. It praises them for the hardships they endure. Surah Al Ahqaf 15 ayat about parents in quran states that:
وَ وَصَّیْنَا الْاِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَیْهِ اِحْسٰنًاؕ-حَمَلَتْهُ اُمُّهٗ كُرْهًا وَّ وَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًاؕ-وَ حَمْلُهٗ وَ فِصٰلُهٗ ثَلٰثُوْنَ شَهْرًاؕ-حَتّٰۤى اِذَا بَلَغَ اَشُدَّهٗ وَ بَلَغَ اَرْبَعِیْنَ سَنَةًۙ-قَالَ رَبِّ اَوْزِعْنِیْۤ اَنْ اَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِیْۤ اَنْعَمْتَ عَلَیَّ وَ عَلٰى وَالِدَیَّ وَ اَنْ اَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضٰىهُ وَ اَصْلِحْ لِیْ فِیْ ذُرِّیَّتِیْ اِنِّیْ تُبْتُ اِلَیْكَ وَ اِنِّیْ مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِیْنَ(15)
“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and [attains] forty years, he says, ‘My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims.'” (Surah Ahqaf :15)
According to the Prophet of Islam (s), respecting parents, especially the mother, is a path to attaining heaven.
The Prophet said, “Heaven lies beneath the feet of mothers.”
In a narration, a man asked the Prophet (s) which parent he should honor most. The Prophet (s) replied, “Your mother.” When the man asked who next, the Prophet (s) said, “Your mother.” After asking the same question again, the Prophet (s) answered, “Your mother.” Only after asking for the fourth time did the Prophet (s) say, “Your father.”
The Story of Prophet Moses and His Companion in Paradise
One day, Prophet Moses asked God, “I would like to know who my companion in paradise will be.” In response, God instructed him to visit the butchery. He went there and saw a young man selling meat. As evening came, the young man collected some meat and headed home. Moses followed him to the entrance of his house and asked the young man, “Aren’t you going to have a guest?” The young man welcomed Moses, and he entered the house.
Inside, Moses observed the young man preparing food, then gently carrying an elderly woman, washing her, and serving her the meal he had made. The elderly woman said something that Moses could not hear clearly, so he inquired with the young man. The young man responded, “This is my mother. I care for her constantly. She prayed that God would make you companion of Moses in paradise.” Moses then said, “Congratulations! Your mother’s prayer has been fulfilled, and you are indeed my companion in paradise.”
Teachings of Hadith on the Status of Parents
Parents: Your Path to Paradise or Hell
Narrated Abu Umamah: A man asked the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), “What rights do parents have over their children?” He replied, “They are your path to paradise and your path to hell.”
The Reward of Showing Mercy to Parents
A hadith regarding parents rights is that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said:
“Every righteous child who gazes upon his parents with mercy and affection will receive rewards equivalent to those of an accepted Hajj for each such glance.”
The Rewards of Obeying Parents: Gates to Paradise
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:
“Whoever obeys Allah’s commands regarding honoring parents will have two doors of Paradise opened for him. If there is only one parent, then one door of Paradise will open for him.”
Honoring Parents Through Hajj and Debt Repayment
“Whoever performs Hajj on behalf of their parents and settles their debts will be elevated by Allah among the righteous on the Day of Judgment.”
Prioritizing Parents Over Jihad
A man came to the Prophet (S.A.W.) and asked for permission to participate in Jihad. The Prophet (S.A.W.) asked him if his parents were still alive. When the man said yes, the Prophet (S.A.W.) replied, “Then focus on serving them.”
The Displeasure of Allah and the Exclusion from Paradise
Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) said:
“On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will not look at three types of people: those who disobey their parents, women who imitate men in their appearance, and those who are unfaithful to their spouses. Additionally, three groups will not enter Paradise: those who disobey their parents, the drunkards, and those who boast about their charity.”
How to deal with unfair parents in Islam?
In various Quranic verses on parents, God instructs believers to treat their parents kindly and avoid showing them any disrespect. However, if parents pressure someone to abandon their faith in God, they should not comply with their demands.In the Quran Surah Ankabut Allah says that:
وَ وَصَّیْنَا الْاِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَیْهِ حُسْنًاؕ-وَ اِنْ جَاهَدٰكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِیْ مَا لَیْسَ لَكَ بِهٖ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَاؕ-اِلَیَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَاُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِمَا كُنْتُمْ تَعْمَلُوْنَ(8)
“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.”
Dua for parents in Quran
Following duas from the Quran shows the importance of praying for parents in islam.
رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِیْ وَ لِوَالِدَیَّ وَ لِلْمُؤْمِنِیْنَ یَوْمَ یَقُوْمُ الْحِسَابُ(41)
“O our Lord, forgive me and my parents and all the believers on the Day the reckoning will take place.”(Surah Ibrahim)
وَ قُلْ رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّیٰنِیْ صَغِیْرًاﭤ(24)
“My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.” (Surah Isra)
رَبِّ اغْفِرْ لِیْ وَ لِوَالِدَیَّ وَ لِمَنْ دَخَلَ بَیْتِیَ مُؤْمِنًا وَّ لِلْمُؤْمِنِیْنَ وَ الْمُؤْمِنٰتِؕ(28)
“My Lord, forgive me and my parents and those who enter my house as believers, and all the believing men and women.” (Surah Nuh)
رَبِّ اَوْزِعْنِیْۤ اَنْ اَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِیْۤ اَنْعَمْتَ عَلَیَّ وَ عَلٰى وَالِدَیَّ وَ اَنْ اَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضٰىهُ وَ اَدْخِلْنِیْ بِرَحْمَتِكَ فِیْ عِبَادِكَ الصّٰلِحِیْنَ(19)
“My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and my parents, and to do righteous deeds of which You will approve, and admit me by Your mercy among Your righteous servants.” (Surah Naml)
